Contemplations of Mohonk

Kim has created a monster. My trip to Mohonk was just what I needed. It is one of the most, if not THE most wonderful place I’ve ever been to.

There is a TV room, but I had no interest in seeing it. The place had a very distinctive smell, which is probably some combination of the natural woods they use and the fires burning in fireplaces throughout the hotel. It defies description.

When you are outside there is no one great view. Every direction you turn your head you see fantastic natural scenery. While you may exercise quite a bit you become rejuvenated. Life outside of Mohonk matters not quite as much as it did before.

You would think that time would fly because you’re having a great time, but for some reason it doesn’t work like that at Mohonk. I found myself amazed that time seemed to be slowing down, debatably at one point I think it even went in reverse, and it may be because you aren’t distracting yourself with media. I was only there for two days but it felt like twice as long, which when you’re at a place as wonderful as this is a good thing.

Finally, it was time to leave and I said goodbye to Mohonk vowing that I would come back as often as I could. Yet another great reason to go to school and get my life together. More chances to visit Mohonk!

I don’t know if Kim knows how grateful I am to her to be introduced to such an awesome place. I like the fact that she knew I would love it and what that says about me.

While I was there I spent a lot of time contemplating the effect that negative and positive attitudes and environments have on you. It reinforced my idea that what you bring to life really affects how you see it and how life affects you in return. If you bring a positive attitude to life, you see more positive than negative things in it, the bad things that happen become opportunities and not misfortunes. We may think of ourselves as mirrors who reflect the world around us. This is true for many people, but I think they are just reacting rather than acting. I decided that I will always try to act as a positive force instead, and let the world react to that, hopefully reflecting positive things back at me. It may not work all the time, but I think it will work often enough to make a difference.

I had an opportunity to try out the results of my contemplations last night. You may have heard me complain about my noisy neighbors. They are frequently up late and they love loud music. Last night they were partying late and I found myself getting angry that they weren’t being quiet. I then remembered my ideas and decided if the noise was really too loud for me to sleep or if I was just pissed off I could hear it at all. It was too loud for me to sleep. I then decided rather than be pissed off all night, or go over there with an attitude problem, I would go over and politely asked them to turn it down and see what happens.

What I said was this with a smile: “Hi, I was wondering if you could turn down the music a little bit? I’m having a little trouble sleeping… Thank you so much and have a good night.”

As I was leaving my neighbor even commented that I was wearing no shoes in the rain (I didn’t want to get my slippers wet). I told her that it was okay and went back to my home.

I didn’t hear a thing from them for the rest of the night. I think that it had a lot to do with how I decided to approach the situation. It is a rehash of the old “you get more flies with honey…” saying. Though I’m not sure why anyone would want flies.

I wonder if they get irritated by the crowds and noise from the bar on weekends. Maybe we can all join together as a neighborhood and do something about it.

The world is not always wonderful, but it is the way you approach that which is less than good that defines you, and may change the way that people react to you.

Don’t simply react to your world. Act on it and shape it, make it react to you.

Crossposted to Facebook.

Story of a Food Addict

It always happens eventually. I’ll be sitting across from a friend in a restaurant after months of eating healthy and getting fit. I may have even lost noticeable amount of weight, which is impressive for me. Sometimes I’ll start it, sometimes they will, but suddenly my friend will turn into a pusher.

“I’m getting the chicken tenders.”
“They’re good, I used to love them, but I can’t eat them anymore.”
“Oh common, you should go ahead and order them. You’ve doing so well and you look great. One serving of chicken tenders isn’t going to hurt.”
“I guess you’re right, yeah I’ll order the chicken tenders (or have a slice of pizza, or have a chocolate).”

Here lies the secret of my failure. The backbone of my yo-yo dieting. The incident that begins a horrible guilt-ridden downward spiral back to where I started.

I am a binge eater and a food addict. A lot of people laugh when I tell them I’m a food addict. Society has not wrapped their heads around the concept of food addiction. Many people discredit this because we need food to survive; how can you be addicted to something like that?

Honestly I’m not 100% sure, and I’m the one affected by it. My best guess is in this society filled with foods that are dense and rich and easy to come by; people like me stopped using food to survive and started using it to medicate themselves. Eventually those people began to rely on the food to get them through life. If this comes with weight gain, like it did for me, the social isolation becomes a whole other reason to use food to fill the void.

My personal struggle with food addiction was joined (as it often is for people) with binge eating. I didn’t just want to medicate, I needed to eat as much of this food as I could. When this behavior made me feel bad, I would just do it again and feel worse. This cycle would continue until I’d hit a bottom of sorts (usually frequent stomach aches or chest pains) and I would start getting healthy and staying away from those bad foods. I’d meet with some success until I ate what I call a “trigger food” and eventually, like a house of cards tumbling down, I would be right where I started again and feeling more like a failure.

To me an addiction is a behavior or behaviors that you have no control over that affect your life and your health negatively and if left unchecked could even lead to your death. Yet I think the word “control” is where the debate comes up with food. People who don’t share my problem can not understand why I can’t just dig in and practice self control. Why can’t I just eat one slice of pizza without my whole world falling apart?

After my last big burn out, I started reframing my thinking. I used other addictions as a framework for understanding and dealing with mine. Just like an alcoholic cannot have one beer, no matter how “good” he’s been, I cannot have certain foods, no matter how long I’ve been healthy.

I started by making a list of trigger foods. Trigger foods are those foods that I cannot eat under any circumstances because I cannot control how I take them in. For instance, I can’t have one piece of cake, because even if it doesn’t happen right there and then, (I don’t binge in front of people) I will eat an entire cake in one sitting. I noticed by the way, almost all the foods on the list are high in fats, salts and sugars, usually all three.

Next, I thought of other ways to reward myself that do not include food. I could buy a new shirt, or download a new song for my IPod, or take myself out to a movie. Or get my nails done.

Next, I told those people who spend the most time with me what I was doing and asked that they not encourage me to eat these foods, even on holidays and other special occasions. My sister even asked for the list of my trigger foods, so that she doesn’t serve any of them when I’m at her house. I can’t stress this enough, because success comes from the support of those closest to you.

Finally, I’ve come up with ways to deal with temptations. Most of mine are exercise oriented. I find if I dance for a few minutes or play and interactive game, the craving is gone by the time I’m done. Also, don’t let yourself get really hungry. Hunger leads to bad decisions.

I know eventually I’ll be starving at the mall, or I’ll find myself in the restaurant again. But this time when I’m told “You have to indulge sometimes,” or,
“Just once won’t hurt.” I’ll be armed and let them know that I do reward myself, just not with food.