When I am seeking peace from my stress I want to visualize myself standing on top of Skytop at Mohonk Mountain house. However, I find myself instead on a beach with a glass jar. The water is warm and it washes over my feet. As I walk I collect seashells, putting them in the jar.
I figured this had something to do with my mother. She loved the ocean, and she used to collect seashells and put them in jars all over the house. I don’t think this is entirely inaccurate; I think my subconscious is putting this in terms that I understand on some level. However, I think it is not really about my mother, but what those images invoke in me. They brought peace to my mother, who was almost never at peace, and so I associate them thusly.
Today I had a revelation. The beach is my mind, the shells are my duties and responsibilities, and the ocean is the restless current of my emotions and emotional needs, pulling my attention away from my tasks. The waves promise serenity, but serenity only comes when the jar is full.
Today would have been my mother’s 65th birthday. What a fitting day for revelations about the shells, the beach, and the sea.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
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